Apparently ear wax is awesome because it keeps the riff-raff out. Like those bogan crayons. Ear wax is literally a bouncer for your ears.
Which is why you shouldn't put those ear cleaners in your ear because it pushes it into the canal. You are supposed to cultivate it.
This is a serious issue which keeps Grandmothers up at night, explaining why it was sent to me 0547.