So I went to a football (not soccer, the American kind) game. In Jersey. Granted, it was not on my list of things to do, but when the opportunity arose I thought, "Why not"?
So here is how it went down.
I got up at the crack of dawn (like 0730) to get a train from Penn Street over to Jersey. It was freezing cold and raining, but I thought to myself, "How bad can it be?, it is only 180 minutes, I'll be fine". I could not have been more wrong.
First there is the tail gating ( I was only a spectator of this on what seemed like a 5km walk from the car to the stadium), which is basically having a bbq out of the boot of your big, gas guzzling car. Then when you are sufficiently pissed (there is no alcohol served at college games) you head inside.
Technically the game is supposed to last for 48 minutes, with four quarters of twelve minutes. What I was not aware of that with the stops and starts each quarter goes lasts somewhere in the vicinity of an hour. It feels as though the clock is going backwards. Whilst my American friends were getting involved, I was cold. It was raining and windy up in the stands, and of course when I sat down I forgot to dry the seat, resulting in a wet ass. Or "fanny" as the Americans call it: as I was given a blanket they said, "here, this is for your fanny". I giggled like a Japanese School girl, and was going to ask why I would need a blanket for my vagina (which is what fanny is in the UK and Australia). But instead I just said, "thank you".
Apparently it is a game full of intricate tactics, but from where I was sitting it looked like a whole lot of motorcycle riders running around in circles looking for their bikes, so I was a smidgen relieved when half-time came and everyone else had also had enough and wanted to leave (not because of the weather, but because Rutgers was losing so badly). Before we did we went to get something to eat, and surprise surprise it was fast food, with cheese on everything. It was wonderful. I tried the "tater-tots", which are deep fried potatoes with cheese, and stuff, and then some more cheese, and then some more stuff, with a cheese topping.
To round off the day (or to put the cheese on the tater-tots) we went to a mall. A real American Mall. Just like they have in "Sweet Valley High". I could imagine the teenage girls creaming (I was going to say screaming but the unfortunate typo seems more apt) and rioting for "One Direction". It was a such a cross section of holiday consumption (Christmas, New Year and Thanksgiving) that my head started to spin, and I was ready to go back to Manhattan.
On the train ride home (with lots of drunk people heading out for a Saturday night) i could not help but wonder if those men ever found their motorbikes.